Kill Me, Kill Me Now

Is the world really such a big, bad, sinister place to live?  Why does it seem like suicide is on a sharp upswing of popularity, or atleast the threat, perpetrated as a means of control.  Show some hesitation marks, text message a cry for help, or just help by spreading Karma-draining drama.  Facebook a mournful synopsis of your unbelievably dreadful day, your latest breakup, and don’t forget to change status (By the way, why did Facebook ever earn verb status?)   Or better yet, let everyone know you’re goth and go about town just oozing with black gooey sorrow.  

Is it just me, or has everyone lost their testicles?  People seem soft & squishy these days—or atleast pliable.  And as much as I hate myself for typing it: maybe their on to something.  The statement of this generation is, “Save me!”  Naturally, the GenXer’s are too busy working, trying to rage against losing their houses, to notice—digging through the rubble, searching out the last crumbled debris of the American dream. 

Plus, acknowledging the self-induced issues of others seems difficult, something we attempt to steer clear of, but are too dumb to fully pull it off.  We want to be Zen, but we’re too perplexed by the shit happening around us.  We’re like the half in/half out generation.  We are the, “take your time/hurry up” people that Kobain wrote about.  Of course, our social schizophrenia hasn’t endeared us to our offspring.  But worse, we’re politically correct about everything!  Really?  Pucky-cock.

What’s wrong?  Everything: the school systems, the economy, video games, cell phones, lap-tops, rap music, and naturally—Wal-Mart, the government, and the Top 40.  When did everything start being so wrong?  But man, are we in a hurry to get somewhere.  I actually saw a woman vibrate in her car seat when she had to wait an extra, “3 seconds” to exit a bank parking lot.  What the FUCK is that about, and is “tar & feathering” still buried in the books somewhere?

Why the frantic pace?  Only to get home, set in front of a cold screen watching the computer boot up, waiting, to enter your life.  “My life, you’re blocking it…move that POS you call an SUV so I can go home and synthesize my existence,” he cried into the empty shell of his soul.  Tragic Rabbits, we are.   So smooth, we never saw it coming. 

My advice (for us X’ers), find someone, a real someone, and hug them.  Or just run for your life.  Sorry, is that half in/half out?  

For the “Save me’s,” tear it down and start over.  You’re smarter than us (although a bit more fragile), and will do a better job.  It’s your world after all.  Sorry we jacked it up so bad.  Now, stop crying.

The Selling of Biblical Apocalyptic Prophesy

104 million dollars.  That's the estimated value of Family Radio International, headed by a nut-job named Harold Camping, who on Saturday predicted the end-of-days.  It's 2am Tuesday morning.  Think again about that figure, $104 million clams...

Folks, to the rational amongst us, the alarm bells should be deafening.  It takes a lot of crazy to generate that kind of money...and they live amongst us--right next door, at the super market, issuing us medications, advising us on investments, etc.  Looking deeper, it feeds the conditioned fear that we are fundamentally flawed, and that judgement is coming.  Not right now, but...now.  NOW!  No?  Oops. 

We are most definitely flawed...psychologically damaged by dogmatic lunacy.  Mysticism at its illogical best, and don't even try to argue that theory.  Faith, (that which cannot be examined by rational processes) trumps all.  And don't these con-men know it! 

Well, take heart. Camping now states that the end time is October 21st.  Send him your money.   

Tim LaHaye, co-author of the "Left Behind" series vigorously denounces Camping's timeline.  But no difference, really.  He's still in the same business of profiting by fear mongering to the spiritually depraved.  At least Camping has the testicles to give a date. Does it matter that he was wrong?  Not to him--he's a multi-millionaire who has collected his fair share of loot from the billion dollar industrial fear complex.

LaHaye is just pissed that Camping tapped the "Pay Now" button so soon.  In stead of milking that cash tit slow and steady, Camping, knuckle-slapped a black eye on the whole industry.  Poor taste, really.  Hu Tim?  It's hard to calculate the number of cash cows (or sheep) that get wise to the scam every time someone like Camping cashes out. 

$104 million.  

So for us who possess a thought of our own, little Harry did us a huge favor.  He took his lunacy global, and in doing so reached many more than I ever could with a silly blog.  I'm his biggest fan!  Lucky for me, he's not quite done with his pillaging.  Although, his radio station will now only play christian music until October 21st (next date to be determined), he was nice enough to console his "crestfallen" flock who invested so innocently and fruitfully: 

"We're not in the business of financial advice," he said. "We're in the business of telling people there's someone who you can maybe talk to, maybe pray to, and that's God."

How's that working out for ya?

Women's Day Extravaganza

"Even as we reflect on the hope of our history, we must also face squarely the reality of the present -- a reality marked by unfairness, marked by hardship for too many women in America," Obama said.

So, let’s forget about homelessness, skyrocketing unemployment rates, foreclosures, and entire states going bottom up. But let’s not just forget about America and our problems. Let’s also delegate images of Afghanistan women being shot in the head during ritual executions at a “soccer field” donated by funds from the international community, out of our collective thought banks.
Instead, let’s consider:

Michelle Obama introducing her husband with a sideways smile: "I get to speak first while he stands and watches. I love this," she said to laughter.

“Inequality? Injustice persisting in our times.” he says?

If your name is not: Martin Luther King, Gandhi, or Thoreau then stick to wasting time, money and energy on a health care plan that everybody hates. That is what your good at. Women in America don’t want your sympathy; they want to pay the electric bill this month.

Americans want work—not rhetoric. A paycheck at the end of the week—not eloquently spoken sound bites that amount to zilch.

The Integrity of Merit

What rational conclusions could one ascertain about a world where its highest honor (conceivably) is awarded on potentiality rather than actuality?

Nobel. Peace.

How do we define Peace anyway?

Dictionary.com defines it like this:

1. the normal, nonwarring condition of a nation, group of nations, or the world.
2. (often initial capital letter ) an agreement or treaty between warring or antagonistic nations, groups, etc., to end hostilities and abstain from further fighting or antagonism: the Peace of Ryswick.

No, I didn’t pick and chose the definitions from a long list to suit my purpose—these are actually number one and two. Strange, no? Stranger yet may be the Nobel Foundation’s reasoning:

"…for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples"

No, I don’t make this stuff up. Isn’t the nation that he represents currently warring on TWO different fronts? Have hostilities been abstained upon…and somehow nobody got the news except the Nobel Foundation?

Perhaps if I reword the statement it will help me understand:

“He attempted (in a fashion beyond some unspecified regular baseline)
to make strong in an unspecified quantity of nations, the ability of said unspecified quantity of nations to negotiate with tact and skill and also conclude unspecified agreements between unspecified individuals within the unspecified quantity of nations.

Please feel free to leave your own deciphering of the Nobel committee's justification based on your own logical interpretation of definition.

At any rate, I guess congratulations are in order.

We, The Irrational

Absurd creatures, the lot. Teenagers. Clearly, the minds are only partially fouled by life experience, and therefore must be soiled by the humiliating circus that passes for common existence.

If they are to be trusted.

In the name of traditional wisdom we shoehorn them into submission—wedged until they conform to the mandates of social conditioning.

Ours.

In order to induce conformity, it must be forced upon them: the hot intolerance of spirit systems: pain, self-loathing, fear.

Pockets of logic remain—social cavities not yet plastered over.

How dare these parasitic worms question what is blindly accepted? Who are they to celebrate the primal ecstasy of their humanness, without the back hunching weight of inherited Sin? Preposterous!

There will be no insolent smirking when guilt is driven through their hands like rusty nails. No backtalk.

After they face 10,000 bitter mornings to endure labor they despise and debt impossible to digest, they will not dance about like drunken he-goats!

Productive citizenry…

No wonder they plug IPODs into their skulls, drown themselves in video games, cell-phones, internet. Never to surface and face the static droning idealisms they’re manufactured to oppose. Teenage rebellion.

In regards to youth, that fragile clay, which we hack to form with blunt, imprecise instruments: may we ever endure their rage as they flail against the impotent storm of our teachings.

A Kiss Goodbye, the Sellout Story

Recent news outlets have reported that the rock band, Kiss, will sell their new CD exclusively through Wal-Mart/Sam’s Club stores (No, I don't need to provide a link—it’s everywhere). The band has proven through the years to be marketing gurus, which is great; however, (this time) they have managed to find the line of over saturation and smash it into small bits.

It’s not as though Kiss didn’t abandon their purist fans long ago, but I’ll get back to that. Or maybe not, those who know, know. I don’t care, and it’s really not the point.

By the phrase, “over saturation” I’m not necessarily referring to the obvious: lunchboxes, dolls, figurines, commercials and new reality TV. It would be hypocritical of your humble narrator to condemn them for such capitalistic maneuvers—no matter how pathetic and down right cheesy these efforts splatter themselves upon the brain numb American public. No, the “over saturation” I’m specifying is partnering with an Anti-American/Anti-capitalistic entity such as Wal-Mart inc, so that they may systematically clobber us with their “Kissness.”

Hack…phoey!

This is the form progressiveness manifest in our times—and don’t whine (or cheese) about Wal-Mart being a huge producer and employer. Wal-Mart produces SQUAT. They rape, plunder, and exploit the production powers of others and manipulate that ability into corporate/government (there’s no real dividing line) slavery of the working class and thrust a fundamentally flawed base of exchange upon an unwitting public. Yes, I said slavery.

Wal-Mart has spearheaded the effort to exploit corporate welfare, destroy true American production, and kill what was once called American culture. They physically represent every tree killing strip-mall, every clapboard subdivision, and every depleted small town business community in all of the US of A.

Congrats on selling out Kiss, you suck.

You MUST be Joking

Question from mentally impaired so called Democrat:

So what's your plan that's better than his? All I hear is criticism and no ideas.

Response:

How about returning government to the shadow that our founding fathers envisioned and enable a pure capitalistic system to bail US out of decades of government failure/intervention which has seen our country degraded by decades of mediocrity. Sorry, that may just be the beer talking.